Dealing with Your Critics, Without Cowering- or Cursing

 

Constructive criticism is fine, but some people are so relentlessly negative that they can suck the joy out of life. No matter what happy news you might have, they are guaranteed to find the cloud to fit your silver lining.

 

Here are 6 strategies I've used to deal with hypercritical people.

 

1.     Don’t Take It Personally

It’s a safe bet that it's not you, it's them. Some people just hug their negativity around them like a security blanket, and it colors their view of the world. They criticize everything because that suits them. Watch how they treat other people. It’s almost guaranteed they criticize everybody, not just you.

 

2.     Listen to The Message

Is the person obscuring the message? Maybe your critical colleague or friend is tactless, or bad at expressing themselves rather than being mean. Try to see past the messenger to understand what is really being said, otherwise you might miss out on some valuable advice.

 

3.     Accept the Feedback- With a Grain of Salt

You can decide to take crucial feedback on its own merits. That is, if it's a source of honest feedback.  If you can see past the blunt delivery, you may be able to find a kernel of truth that can improve the way you do things.

 

4.     Deal with Your Discomfort

Criticism never feels good. Try to read your own discomfort as another source of information about what is being said. Does the negative feedback trigger a recognition deep within you? Maybe it subconsciously reminds you of a past event, but maybe there’s a ring of truth in the criticism. Sit with your discomfort and see what it’s telling you.

 

5. Protect Youself

If you can’t stand being criticized, when possible, try not to get into situations with people who are likely to criticize you. Don’t ask for advice or expose yourself to their negativity. They’re not likely to change. Don’t share good news if you know they’ll throw cold water on it; don’t seek their praise if you know you won’t get it.

 

6.     Stay Out of Their Way

You have a choice about how to deal with negative people. You can decide not to engage with their negativity, you can ignore them, or you can just avoid them altogether. If you must have contact with a negative person at work, for example, be helpful and cordial bur don't try to ingratiate yourself. 

Comment below! What are your strategies for dealing with your critics?